Apparently Plaid Is The New Camo?

When Bound 2 first came out I took note of Kanye’s double, Ralph Lauren plaid situation. “Uh-Oh”, I thought. “Here we go with this shit.” Not that Kanye is the end all, be all of fashion, but if Kanye’s doing something, people are paying attention. So I kept my eyes open as designers previewed their Spring/Summer 14 looks. And sure enough, what did I see: Plaids, Plaids and Plaids. Think about that. These are articles of clothing designed to be worn in the SPRING and SUMMER, and they are plaid.

Come on, people. Do you not remember what everyone looked like in in 90′s? Let me refresh your memory:

Weird/Emo/horrible/stupid.

Why are we going back to that? That’s Naomi Campbell and she looks like a f*cking idiot. Please let’s not do this again.

On the other hand I kinda get it. Camo has had a long run. It’s been re-colored, resized, digitized, Personally I don’t why we had to jump right into Plaids. If I wanted to look like I was wearing a kilt from head to toe, I’d move to Scotland. Camo is 10 times more offensive than plaid. Just look at how much of an idiot Pharrell looks like:

But, what can you do? Almost everyone seems to have jumped on the bandwagon here with plaid. You’ve got your big plaids, your little plaids? You’re blown up plaids, you wide plaids, even you’re tie-dye plaids.

Maybe Kanye wasn’t the impetuous for this plaid infestation, but it seems to have carried all the way through from the smaller, hipper designers…

Mark McNairy

VICTIM

…..To the big boys…..

Marc Jacobs

Look, it’s not the end of the world. We could have been dealing with a shift towards herringbone, which would have been a nightmare of apocalyptic proportions for me, because I fucking hate herringbone. So I’m not planning on organizing a mass burning of all plaids in a bonfire at Union Square, but I do wish that everybody wouldn’t follow suit when it comes to fashion.

Be warned, plaid has descended upon us. I’m blaming Kanye, but you don’t have to agree. In fact, don’t agree. Because if you do just listen to what I say and adopt it as your own opinion, you’d be just as bad as all the designers I’m shitting on in this article.

MORE FROM OLIVER CANE: DEAR KANYE, STOP TRASHING EVERYBODY, AN OPEN LETTER